Another day...

Woke up to me being majorly mad at myself. lol. I kept dreaming about how fat I was and how skinny I used to be and then I woke up and looked in the mirror and just wanted to cry. I have actually gained about 75 pounds since Derek and I got together. I don't know how that is possible, but it is true. I know Derek says he loves me for who I am, but doesn't he miss picking me up in his arms and his friends being jealous of his girlfriend. Now nobody is jealous, if anything they probably feel bad for him. Once Emily is born I will be working out everyday. I just can't keep being this way. I will have to figure out some sort of diet that is healthy for breastfeeding and for loosing weight. Luckily it will be late spring, early summer, so I will have a few months to get back into shape. Even if I just loose 50 pounds at first. I don't care. I just want to be in the single digits again. I can't imagine how it will feel to be a size 9 or 7. My goal is still a 3/4. I looked amazing when I was that size, and I will get back there again. If I end up loosing all this weight and I am all toned up I don't think we will have anymore babies. I think it would be to hard for me to gain and loose all over again. We will just see what the future holds.

Enough about that stressful topic. I have so much to do today. First I am going to start by decorating the monkey cake for my friend Amber's shower. That's the most important, and laundry and cleaning can wait til last as always. After I get the cake done I will probably get some clothes in the washer and dryer and try to get the laundry done before Derek get's home. Also i need to clean up the kitchen, it's really just dishes that need to be done, but just dishes makes the whole kitchen look like a disaster. Then once all that is done I will finally vacuum this place. It's been a good week or two, and needs it desperatly. Then shower time and I can finally feel like I have accomplished something! I hope I have time for the library, i want to go look at books and see if I can find any good pregnancy books to read that I haven't read. Oh goodness, i am totally blabbering on aren't I... It's just my way of stalling so I don't have to get off my butt and work lol. Hmm...

Oh yes! I almost forgot... I have been tracking our bedding via fedex.com and it departed from Earth City, MO last night at 9:12pm, meaning it could be here today! Earth city is only an hour away, so it could totally be in transit to our house! Goodness I hope so! I've been waiting forever to see it and wash it and put it all on the bed and the curtains up. I am so excited!!! I am so glad mom and dad in law helped us out with it =) We're so lucky to have parents as great as them! God knows my parents are the crappiest parents ever.. but i'm just saying lol.

Well it's probably time to get off my butt and get to work on the monkey cake, our three day weekend starts tonight when Derek get's off work. Pretty excited!!! Friday will be painting baby furniture day, saturday will be Amber's baby shower, and Sunday will be taking the boat out and going fishing day! Hurray!!! Gotta love the begining of Spring! high fifties, low 60's all weekend! Woohoo!!

Well I will ttyl!
Sammantha