We are so LUCKY!

I know it's my hormones talking, but when I think of my life it brings tears to my eyes. I feel like we are so lucky. Just knowing in three months we are going to have a little mini us in our arms. And then from then on we are going to be parents. It just feels so amazing, I have never felt this way before. It's a totally new love that I have for someone that isn't even here yet. I have never met this little girl but she has already stolen my heart, as her daddy has to.

We were at Bass pro last night and looking at boats, and mini life jackets, and mini fishing poles. I think back to when I was a little girl and my step dad would wake me up early when we were camping before my brothers and sister were awake, and just him and I would go to the river and go fishing. I remember one morning in particular where I caught my first trout. I felt like the luckiest little girl ever, my step dad couldn't catch anything, and he told me "I knew you were my little girl, the moment I saw you." That's something you don't forget. Now knowing that we are going to have a little girl, I can just see Derek taking Emily out early fishing and her catching her first fish with her tomboy jeans and hoodie and her cute little pink fishing pole, while mommy is making breakfast at the campground. It makes me tear up just thinking about the future.

I know there are so many obstacles we have to get past, financially, emotionally, physically. But those things I try to just put in the back of my head and not worry about. Life is too short to worry about all the little things. I know that everyday will be ok, moneyless or not. Being parents is going to change our lives forever, and I won't let the little bumps in the road get in our way.

I think about how when my mom and step dad got a divorce back when I was eleven. And that honestly was one of the worst days of my life. Still ten years down the road I think about my step dad and how great he was. He was my best friend when I was a kid, I hate to think that I haven't spoken to him in ten whole years. (thanks mom) I feel like he really got screwed out of a family. I don't ever blame him for being stressed out, my mom definitely caused plenty of problems, and picked at every little thing he did. She just made him wanna pull his hair out. I feel like he was probably best without her. But man, I wish he was still my dad. I won't ever let that happen to Derek and I. He can drive me crazy, but the crazy things he does makes me giggle and I just laugh it off. He could buy twenty five sports cars, and we could loose our house and I would still love him and stick by his side. I definitely haven't been the greatest wife, who says I should judge him for stupid things. It's funny, I dislike my mom quite a bit for what kind of life she lives and how she tried to get me to live the same one. But I think my step dad put some smarts in me and I learned to do the exact opposite of what she does. And so far, it's working out great! So mom, if you ever read this, thanks, I learned from ALL of your mistakes lol.

So I was listening to that song "It won't be like this for long" by Darius Ruckus, and it just makes me think of Emily. I can't believe that our little girl will be here in 3 months! And we will be going through the crying, the sleepless nights and the dirty diapers, and being poor... but I don't want to miss a moment of it. It's so true, "it won't be like this for long," this pregnancy has really flown by unexpectedly and I know she will grow up so fast. Her crawling for the first time, her first steps, her first words. Daycare, preschool, 1st grade to 12th grade. Teaching her how to drive, how to tie her shoes. Keeping an eye on the boys and going dress shopping for all the dances. Cheer leading, dance, gymnastics. Vacations and camping. There is a huge life in front of us, and it all just hit me I guess. I feel so lucky to be able to experience all of this with Derek. Being new parents is going to be so life changing. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Well I should probably go finish up the dishes and get the laundry folded. Possibly a little vacuuming, all the stuff I was going to do yesterday but never got to lol. But I just wanted to share all this happiness in me... I have to get it out somehow or my hormones are just going to burst and I am goign to start crying again haha.

Bye for now!
Sammantha>>> One happy Mommy to be! And one lucky wife!!!